The Poop Name List

The Perfect Dump – Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it’s rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that’s not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump – Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper’s tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn’t matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump – Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump – Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, “DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?” you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump – In case you didn’t know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don’t ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump – This is the masterpiece of dumps. It’s as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that’s going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump – You’re done…you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains…no, someone would say “Where are the curtains?” Then what would you say? The rug?…too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every “empty roll dumper” must face…Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash Back Dump – You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you’re wet and embarrassed.
Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump – You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn’t pretty, but you’ve gotta do what you gotta do

The Caesarian Dump – Pain, that’s what this dump and childbirth have in common. Its simply a case of too much dump trying to go through too small a hole, and there’s no obstetrician to help.

The Alfresco Dump – Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump – This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn’t going to get any better. You wonder if you’ll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming “Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf”. You realize you’ll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do:

1. Scream
2. Call an Obstetrician
3. Hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.

The Tijuana Trot Dump – The phrase “Sh*t Happens” really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you’d be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.

The Machine Gun Dump – You’re just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran cradling his umbrella like an M16…damn commies.

The Sound Effect Dump – You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects:

1. Flush the toilet
2. Sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem
3. Drop a handful of quarters on the floor

The Security Dump – You have enough on your mind when you’re in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can’t reach to do this…hum loudly

The Cling-On Dump – For the most part you’ve completed your dump, but there’s one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You’re getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors

The Houdini Dump – You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where’d it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe…maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? you’d better, because if you don’t, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in

The Flu Dump – You feel so bad that you don’t know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again…up down up down. Don’t you wish Mom were close by?

The Porta-Pottie Dump – Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, “Its like taking a shit in an upright coffin”. Its claustrophobic and it smells bad…best advice…go in a paper cup.

The Proctologist Dump – In the beginning, the lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn’t create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it, you run out of gas. That’s right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You’ve only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you’re a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??

The Whole Roll Dump – No matter how much you wipe, it doesn’t seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.

The Graffiti Dump – You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there…love it or leave it. Its your choice.

The Encore Dump – Ahhhh, you’re done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world’s record is seven encores.

The Born Again Dump – This is a dump that’s going so badly, you say “Lord, if I live through this, I’ll take up religion” you always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth…you forget the pain quickly.

Ghost Poopie
The kind where you feel the Poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie
The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie
The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don’t runie them with a stain.

Second Wave Poopie
The kind that happens when you’re done poopie-ing and you’ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize you have to poopie some more.

Turtle Poopie
The kind of poopie that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finallly comes out

Pop-a-Vein-in-your-Forehead-Poopie
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Lincoln Log Poopie
The kind of Poopie that is so huge you’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the plunger.

Gas-sy Poopie
The kind where it’s so noisy, everyone within earshot is giggling!

Drinker Poopie
The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It’s most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Corn Poopie
(Self explanatory)

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poop Poopie
The kind where you want to Poopie, but all you do is it on the toilet and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie
That’s the kind when it hurts so badly coming out, you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get spashed with water.

Liquid Poopie
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots you of your butt and spashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Poopie
The kind that smells so bad your nose burns.

Upper Class Poopie
The kind of Poopie that doesn’t smell.

The Suprise Poopie
You are not even at the toilet, because you are sure you are about to fart, but, OOPS—a Poopie!

The Dangling Poopie
This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done poopie-ing. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.

Fisherman’s Bobber Poopie
You are in a public restroom with two people waiting on your stall, you poopie and flush two times, but several golfball pieces are still floating above the water line.

The Stolen Poopie
The poopie you take at a techy toilet, with an automatic flush, that is flushed so quick that when you whirl around to see the poopie you worked so hard for, you are left with a violated and un-satisfied feeling. you never got to see that poopie.

Other Poop Names
3-Colier (impressively long)
A Donald (from England, Donald Trump rhymes with dump)
A doo yoo moosed
A horse peaking out of the barn
ABC — another bad creation
Admiral Browning
Afterburner
AGB- after grog bog
air out the anus
air out the ass
Alley apple
Anal leakage
Another one bites the dust
arc one out ass sneezing
Ass piss (or AP)
Ass Rocket
Ass-Opening Experience
Baby arm
Baby makes cake
back the big brown caddy out of the garage
Backdoor stinger
Backing out the finless brown trout
ba-doop
Bag of goodies
Bait My Traps
bajsa
Bake a brownie
Bake a loaf
Bake a potato
Bake a russet
Bake bread
Bake brie
bake brownies
Barbarians at the gate
BarBQ nuggets
Battle the beast
Beans in the bowl
Bearding the bowl
Become a logger
Beef Jerky
Beer Deuce — the nasty dump after a long night of drinking
Beware of number 2
Big brown man knocking on the back door
Big Greasy One — the one you get about once a month or so, and it is so big that it is worth tellin
big jobby
Birth Chocolate Babies
Birth the Brown Nosed Weasel
bite a train
Blast a deuce
Blast a dookie
Blastin’ turds
bloop
blow blow some mud bob for apples
Blow chocolate
Blow holes in the ozone
Blow Mud
Blow out an o-ring
Blowin it up — stinking up the bathroom
bog buang air besar
Bomb Pearl Harbor
Bomb Porcelanistan
Bomb the Bay
Bomb the Bowl
Bomb the White House
Bombing the Ty-D-Bowl man
Bombs over Crapdat
Boo Boo
Boom Boom
Bowel Movement
Bowl-freckling
Brag
Brawl with the serpent
Break porcelain
Bronze some beef medallions
Brown art
Brown Cola
Brown Pee
Bud Mud — crap after drinking
Build a dookie castle
Build a log cabin
Building a rocket
Bum Bucker Beaties–when all your sweat glands turn to anuses and you die of the drizzlin shits
burial at sea
burners
Bury a Quaker
bury cable
Business
Bust a crap
bust a dook
bust a shit
Bust Ass
Bustin’ a purge
Butt cough
Butt lumps
Butt nuggets
Butt Pee
Butt Stick
Butt-cracker
Butter tarts
Butter the roll
Butt-rock
cagando
Call of nature
call one’s uncle christen the comfort station
Cannon Baaall!
Captain’s log
Carpet bombing
Cast your pellet
Celtic pride — green poo
Chasing ducks
Check your bags
Choco suprise
Chocolate gone bad
Chocolate Iceberg
Chocolate Shark
Choke a brownie
Choke a darkie
Chop a log
chuck the football
Cigar between the Cheeks
Clank
clean one’s colon
Cleanse the colon
Clear out the pipes
clear the air cocken
clumsy brown trout
Coco Pebbles
Coil some rope
Colon cowboy
Commit yourself to the dumpatorium
Conduct a movement
Conducting Air Strikes Over Porcelainastan
Cook a brown carrot
Cook a brown kielbasa
Cook a butt burrito
Cook a meat loaf in the porcelain saucepan
cook some beans
Cook some chocolate
Cook some fudge
Cook some sausage
Cook up a pot of anal stew
cop a shit crap
Cop a squat
Cotton-sniffing turtle
Cow Pie
Crack the whip
crackin’ a rat
Crack Off An Oily Mud-Hen
Crank out a tube-steak
Crankin’ a Hanky
Cranking out the Chocolate Soft-Serve
Crap
Crap on a stick
Crowning — like when a babies head begins to appear
Curl some pipe
cut off a load
Dance with the white ribbons (TP)
Dancing of the Dingleberries
Danglers
Dart — as in diarrhea fart
Debulk
Defecate
defecate desecrate the throne room dispatch a Yankee
Dense fart
Dirty Hail
Dirty Snap
Dirty up the bowl
Disembowel
Disemfiber
dive bomb do a dog do business with John
Do a job
do one’s daily duty
do one’s dirt do poopsie do the doo
Do the Royal Squat
Do your duty
doggie bag
Doo Doo
Doo Doo Brown
Doodie
Doogler
Dookie
Dookie Houser
down the periscope
down the proctoscope
Download some brownware
Download some Software
Draw mud
Drawing mud
Drill for mud bunnies
Drop
Drop a bomb
drop a brick
Drop a brown trout
drop a chalupa
Drop a Deuce
Drop a dookie
drop a fat load
Drop a grogan
Drop a load
drop a load drop an atomic bomb
Drop a log
drop a nuke
Drop a spike
Drop a splunker
Drop a stool
drop a wad in the porcelain god drop one from the poop deck
Drop anchor
Drop ass
drop ass goblins
Drop Loggy Log
Drop off the Cosby Kids
drop one’s wax drop some bait drop some friends off at the lake
Drop Smokies (when camping in the winter)
Drop the “S” bomb
Drop the Chalupa
Drop the cosby kids off at the pool
Drop the Huxtables off at the pool
Drop the kids off at the pool
Drop the wax
Drop wolf bait
Drop your ordinance
Droppin’ a log
Droppin’ bags
droppin house
Droppin’ wofate
Droppin’ wolf bait
Dropping pods
Dump
dump a load dump truck
Dump a stump
dump dump a dead grandma
Dump human waste
Dump like a truck, truck
Dump your cargo
Dunk the funk
ease nature een drol draaien
Easter Eggs
Elephant droppings
empty the manure spreader empty the poop shoot
Enjoy a meatball sandwich
Entertaining the Peanut Gallery
Erupt the upside down volcano
Evacuate
evacuate one’s bowels excrete fecal matter
Farm potatoes
Fast Freight to Fudge City
Fat digger
Fecal matter
Fecalus Magma (Montezuma’s Revenge)
Feces
Feed the Devil
feed the dog feed the goldfish fill the pot
Feel the need
Fertilize the lawn
Fill the peanut butter jar
Filling the Pit with Kingsford
fire a brownie
Fire in the hole
Firing the Napalm (harsh diarrhea)
Float a sea-pickle
Float a swan
Float a trout
Float some timber
Float the Falcon
flunk a dunk
flying walendas
Fold in the Cocoa
Fold in the Raisins
Fold in the Chocolate Chips
Foul yourself
Free the Americans
free the chickens from the coop
free the legless dog to sea
Free the Slaves
frisbee a bun fudge
frog a log
gagas
Georgia Brown
get a burning desire to sit on porcelain give birth to a black eel
Get your dijon
Get your grumpy on
Ghost Poopie: the kind where you work really hard, but no poopie
Gigantus Poopus
Give birth to a brown baby boy
Give birth to a fecal baby
Give birth to a giant corn-eyed buttsnake
Give birth to a Marine
give birth to a marine give birth to submarines give of oneself give sacrifice to the porcelain god
Give birth to a packy
Give birth to Meatloaf’s daughter
go backwards
go clip a yam
go cocky
Go crush a pig
Go dump in the night
Go Fecen’
go for a Tom Tit
go grunt go number 2
Go into dump mode
Go into labor
Go let a grogan go
go pop
Go see a man about a dog
Go see a man about a dog with a long neck
go stinky
Go take a [enter the name of the person who you are talking to]
go to bog
Go to the bathroom
go to the library
Go to the Plop Plop room
Gone loggin’
Got the cramp
Grand Poo Bah — the first poop is really big and the rest are mere pebbles
Grapes of Wrath
Grate cheese
Grease the bowl
Green
green apple splatters
grow a tail
Grow a Tail
grump
Grunt
Hail Caesar
Hairy Mary
hang a rat
Hang with Mr. Pooper
Hangin’ a monkey tail
Hangin’ Mud
Hatch a new boss
Hatch a new superintendent
have a bowel movement have a turtle head poke out
Have a lumberjack meeting
Have a shit
have some fun
Having a brown baby
Heading into Surgery
Heave a Havana
Heavy artillery
help out Dunkin’ Donuts
Helping Pillsbury
Henry Parsons Died
Hershey Squirts
Hibernate
Hiroshima
Hit paydirt
hit the can honey dip jakksy
Hit the growler
Hit the Hershey Highway
Hit the hopper
Hork a loaf
Horse apple
Hot Mud Syndrome — burning exceptionally
Hunt For A Shingle foul poop
I got a turtle head pokin out
Incoming
jumpers away
Ka-Ka
kakat
kaknel
Ka-Ploomps
Ka-thunk
Kerplunk
kill a dead eagle
King Kenneth – when you poop so much it piles up above the water line.
Knit a Brown Sweater
Kreplach
Launch a Brown Missile
Launch a Butt Shuttle
launch a log
Launch a Scud (from Desert Storm Days)
Launch a sea pickle
launch a sub
Launch a torpedo
Lay a brick
Lay a cable
Lay a log
lay a turd lay some sledge
Lay an egg
lay bricks
Lay Cable
lay cable
Lay logs
lay pipe
Lay rubber
Lay some cable
Layin a lethal log
Laying a TransAtlantic cable
leave a deposit leave a shit let the dogs loose
Leave a lead pipe
Leave a steamer
Leave some used food
let the firetrucks loose
Let the miners out
Lethal log
Letting the kids out to swim
Lincoln Logs
Lincoln Logs on the Mississippi
Link some sausage
Liquid Fart
Little Bo Poop
Load the crapper
Log out
Logging out
Loose change and sand
lose a farting contest lose ten pounds in one
Low Altitude Bombing
Mach ein Sheiss — German for “make a shit”
Magnus Dumpus
make a chocolate hamburger
Make a core dump
Make a delivery
Make a deposit
Make a deposit at the porcelain bank
make a deposit in the drop box
make a deposit in the porcelain bank
Make a doo-doo
Make a doozy
make a house
make a little junk
make a loaf make a pass
Make a log
Make a log entry
Make a mess
make everything come out all right make poopie make the donuts
Make grunt sculpture
Make mud
Make room for lunch
Make sausage
Make some fertilizer
make the people in the apartment below scream in agony
Make waste
Makin’ a hole in one
Makin’ change
Making brownies
Making gravy
Making statues of JETS fans
man the deck
meditate misfart mold an action figure
minute make make a caca
MOAB – Mother Of All Bombs
Montezuma’s Revenge
Moons over my assy
Motion
Move the mail
Move your bowels
Mud slide
murder a mud bunny
murder a shit
Must be the puppy chow
Nasty Pickle
Nature calls
Negotiating the release of some hostages
Nuclear meltdown
Number 3 (a combo of 1+2)
Number two
Numere Due
Numero dos
Offering a sacrifice to the porcelain gods
Offload some freight
One wiper
Open wide and let it slide
Open your bowels
Pack your underwear
Paint the bowl (especially for a really wet one)
Paint the White House black
Paint with the brown stuff
park a load pay a visit to the old soldier’s home pay one’s doctor bill
Park some bark
Park your breakfast
Peel out
People who like sausages shouldn’t see how they’re made!!
Percolating Butt Coffee
Pinch a loaf
piss backwards
Pitch a biscuit
pitch a log
plant potatoes
Plant some corn
Play at the Toilet Bowl
Playing Hide And Seek With A Mud Turtle
Plonk Plonks
Plop
plop a load plunk
Plunge!
Poke the turtle’s head out
Poo
Poo Lump
Poocaino
Poop
Poop Diddy
Poop goes the weasel
poot
Pop a deuce
Pop a Grogan
Pop a Squat
Post a letter
Postin’ up on the blaster
Power dump
Prairie-dogging it
press a loaf purp
Pull a Najeh Davenport
Punch a grumpy
Punish the porcelain
push brown
Pushin cotton
Pushin’ mud
Put fruit in the bowl
Put the Nelson on the train (Mandela)
Putting an end to farts
Recycle fiber
recycle some cellulose
refill the bowl with chili
Release a hostage
Release some blind baby seals into the wild
Release the hounds
Release the turds
Release your payload
relieve oneself
relieve the bowels
Relieve yourself
Return of the shit demon
revolve the beavers
Rhesus Pieces
Richard Simmons Poopy – Poop so much you lose 10 pounds
Ride the hoop
ride the porcelain pony scheissen
Ride the porcelian pony
Rocky Mountain Mud Slide (a night after drinking Coors)
Roll a Blunt
Roll a log
Roll a Nut Log
Roll logs
Rounding second and heading straight into home
Sausage link
Saw off a log
Scat
Scooby Doo
Screamer
See a man about a horse
Seek revenge for the Brown Bomber
send a fax
send a log to float
send some sailors to sea
Sending the Browns to the Super Bowl
Serving up the Poo Poo platter
Sewer assalts
Shake a brown bomber
Shake a tit
Shart (when you think you’re going to fart and you shit yourself)
Shat
Sheet
Shit
shittin a brick
shittin my dick off
shoot a dog
Shoot a duke
shoot bunnies
Shoot the deuce
shump
Sink a few logs
Sink a link
Sink a sausage
sink submarines sit on the crapper
Sink the Bismark
Sink the Titanic
Sir Poops-Alot
Sit on the bowl
Sit on the can
Sit on the throne
sit on the throne sit on the throne of porcelain
Sjvsdtta en barkbet (in Sweden)
Skidmarks
Skipping brown rocks
skita
Slam
Slam into a Slim-jim
Slay the dragon
Smash
smell up the house with horrible turd fumes
smoke a brown dooby
Smoking a cigar
Snap a log
Snappin’ a Coiler
Snuff a grumpy
soil one’s pants sparkle
Soil yourself
Solid farts
spend a penny
spike a bird’s nose
Spray and wipe
Spread-n-ready
sprout a tail
Sputter — the one where you fart and poopie at the same time
Square one off
Squat
Squat a grumpy
Squat a Yam
squat squat and push
Squeeze
Squeeze a coily
squeeze a fresh slurpy
Squeeze a loaf
Squeeze one out
Squeeze the cheese
Squeezin’ Cheese
Squirrel curl– a curver that curls up and hits you in the back
Squirt my brown pet
Stain the porcelain
Staining the pond
Stankin it up
step into the office
Stew a Rat
Stock the pond with brown trout
Stool
Strangle Jabba The Hutt
Strangle Luca Brazzi
Stranglin midgets
Study at the Library
Sumthin’ at the Bay doors
Taint the cloth
Take a “Schroeder” (or insert another familiar name)
take a crap
Take a deuce
take a digi
Take a Doogie
take a duke
Take a dump
take a good crap
Take a growler
Take a grumper
Take a Huskie (Washington Huskie)
Take a hut (as in hhhhuuuuttt)
Take a load off your behind
Take a load off your mind
take a lovely
Take a natural log (for math majors)
take a plane crash – no survivors
take a plumper
Take a poop
take a rest
Take a shit
take a shit take a snap
Take a squat
Take a steamer
Take a winder
take care of one’s business
Take my medication — dumpacillin
Takin’ the Browns to the SuperBowl
Taking a Castro
Taking a dood
Taking a Ja Rule
Taking the brownies out of the oven
Taking the Cosby kids to the pool
Taking the kids to the river
talk to a man about a horse
T-Bombs
Test the plumbing
The Fast and The Furious (aka diarhea)
The gravy train
The mail must go through
Thirty-five Forty-five (from “Friday”)
Throwing up out of your butthole
Thunder Dump
Timber!
Titanic Poopie — so big it breaks in half when you try to flush it
Toot your horn
Tootsie Roll
Torpedoes
Toss a turd
Touching fabric – this is when it’s REALLY close
Transduecer
trash the hash
Tuna salad
Turd
Turds ahoy!
Turn and burn
Turn on the Crap-o-matic
Turtle Head — the kind when you have to hold it for so long it is peeking out
Turtle Soup – diarrhea
Turtle Turd – when it pokes its head out the water like a turtle getting sun
Two
Ugly Baby
unhitch a load
Unleash the brown demons
Unload Cargo
unload visit Mr. Hanky
Unplug
Urge to purge
Use paper
Visit Dennis (Hopper)
Visit Elvis
Visit from Mr. Shittz McCrappen
visit the chamber of commerce
Visit the toilet for a poo-poo
void one’s bowels wash the walls
Void your bowels
Wander off
Who wants seconds?
william shattnering
Winnie the poo
Write a letter to the Pope (Mayor, Gov, Senate, etc.)
yell at Mrs. Johnson
Zap the porcelain
Zappin’ Bugs

Diarrhea
angry firefighters
Anal hot chocolate
Agent Brown
Aztec two-step
backdoor trots
back door truts
back way spray
Bass ass
blow mud
blow out
boggy
booty hole burnout
Brew some hot chocolate
Brownie batter
brown bubbles
brown river
Bud mud
Bum Gravy
burning urge
butt dribblets
butt drool
butt gravy
butt juice
butt piss
butt puke
butt squeezings
Captain D
cha cha agua
chocolate explosion
Chocolate splat
Chocolate surprise
Chocolate syrup explosion
chorro
colly wobs
Cook some hot fudge
Cook up a pot of anal gravy
Cook up a pot of anal stew
colon blow
Delhi belly
diarea
diarrhea
diatreme
dingbats
down-dru-me’s
Drippy doo-doo
drizzly shits
Dünnschiss
Durchfall
fireworks
flats
G.I. shits
G.I. trots
G.I.’s
gravy
green-apple quickstep
green apple spatters
green apple splatters
green apple squirts
grizzly shits
Havana omelet
Hershey squirts
hibbey-jibbies
hog cholera
human expresso machine
jalapeno tugboat ride
Jerry-go-nimble
Johnny trots
Liquid Doo
Liquid Bummer
liquid poop
Liquid Satan
Liquid Shit
Lubricant (term used by homosexuals)
lucy bowels
lurkies
Mexican heartburn
Montezuma’s revenge
movies
Mr. Poopy Pants
mudslide
Nestle’s Splat
oil spill
oohs and ahs
Percolating butt coffee
pee butt
Pharaoh’s revenge
Piss out of your ass
Piss rusty water out of your ass
pizzarhea
ponos
poopsie-lao
puke out one’s asshole
Reagan’s Revenge
red anal rovers
Rectal hot chocolate
Rectal soup
runs
Russian shits
rusty water
San Francisco shits
scires
screaming mimis
scudders
scurvies
scutters
Shilshul
Shit a flock of sparrows
shitathlon
shits
shooting soup
shorts
sizzling shits
skithers
skitters
slides
slippery poo
slurry
Spam
Schlitz
squiddle
squirters
squirts
squitters
sul-sa
summer complaint
supersonic sewer sauce
tapass
ten-twenties
toilet bowl stew
touristas
trots
trout chili
Trouser chili
turkey trots
Upside-down hot fudge sundae
urgents
Vienna squirts
volcanic whoopies
watery explosive
wild butt

There are many names for feces, of which some are considered profanity (such as shit, crap and turd) while others (such as poo, poop, number two, dookie and doody) are not. Terms such as dung, scat,spoor and droppings are normally used to refer to animal feces.

Human feces are commonly known as a Stool . At a normal situation at the doctors this would what it would sound like.

John: Hi Doc. I’m feeling a little BLLUUURR today

Doc: What a shame

John: Can you fix it

Doc: I sure can hon

John: Go on then

Doc: Sure. I need a sample of your stool.

John: The thing that I’m sittin’ on

Doc: No. The thing that come out your anus. Go on then here’s a plastic bag

John: Thanks I’ll be back in a number two

The term stool can be used for that of non-human species too.

The distinctive odor of feces is due to bacterial action. Gut flora produce compounds such as indole, skatole, and thiols (sulfur-containing compounds), as well as the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that are responsible for the odor of flatulence. Consumption of foods with spices may result in the spices being undigested and adding to the odor of feces. The perceived bad odor of feces has been hypothesized to be a deterrent for humans, as consumption or touching it may result in sickness or infection. Of course, human perception of the odor is a subjective matter; an animal that eats feces may be attracted to its odor. Vegetarian diets produce feces with less odor from the standpoint of human perception than diets containing large amounts of meat, in both human beings and animals; for example, the odor of feces produced by carnivores such as lions or tigers tends to be much stronger than that of feces produced by herbivores such as horses or cows

Here are some names for poo

• Non-human animals generally –
  • As bulk material – dung
  • Individually – droppings
• Cattle –
  • Bulk material – cow dung
  • Individual droppings – cow pats, meadow muffins etc.
  • Figuratively – bullshit
• Deer (and formerly other quarry animals) – fewmets.
• Wild carnivores – scat.
• Otter – spraint.
• Birds (individual) – droppings (also include urine as white crystals of uric acid).
• Seabirds or bats (large accumulations) – guano.
• Herbivorous insects, such as caterpillars and leaf beetles – frass.
• Earthworms, lugworms etc – worm casts (feces extruded at ground surface). 
• Feces when used as fertilizer (usually mixed with animal bedding and urine) – manure.